Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Told You So

During the week just past I have learned or perhaps re-learned much about about trusting my inner voice. It always comes through with truthful, loving guidance when I settle myself and am able to quiet the "committee" of voices in my head. These are the voices of external factors such as subconcious scripting from the past, quibbling as they struggle for ascendancy and promotion to the light of consciousness. Sadly, some of these voices are invited in through the internet, texting, "tweeting", and e-mailing. They come inadvertently when we let our friends in through these windows on the world.
These voices must be periodically shushed in order to attend to the far deeper "heart voice". This voice, in its kind and loving way, gives inerrant guidance once the committee voices subside. It tells us when we are overbooked. It knows when our commitments have gotten out of hand, like so many helium balloons we must keep within our grasp or risk losing to the blue sky forever. Listen and the voice will softly remind you that you are losing sleep, eating badly, not honoring your loved ones, dozing at the wheel.
At our house, we have been away from our internet service intermittently for nearly a week. (Our main computer was on sabbatical without us, it seems)Gradually, we are catching up with all of our correspondence, bill-paying, social networking. Something I noticed about the lack of outside contact derived from my Blackberry or e-mail and internet was the anxiety I felt initially at being disconnected. The sense of isolation weighed heavily like a physical burden for the first day or two.
Apparently, something in me missed some of my "committee voices". At the same time, I'd be lying if I claimed that I didn't have a secret joy at having an acceptable excuse to being checked out of the loop for a time. After the initial discomfort ebbed a bit, I realized none of us were in any immediate physical or emotional danger. And another thing surfaced.
I heard my inner "heart" voice. It reminded me that it caring for ourselves and those close around us isn't a function of being on three different computers around the house, paying no attention to one another. It's more concerned with looking at each others' faces as we share dinner or wash dishes together. So in the past few days, it's been cool to spend some extra time with my husband and with my son, and I had a great day doing a museum trip with friends. And, yes, I'm several days behind on this series. But I kind of think the voice of the heart might be as or even a little more important than the food of the heART. Anyway, I know it'll wait.

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